Preening of our broken feathers

Have you ever paused awhile and watched a bird preening its feathers?

They twist and bend their necks in amazing ways as they uncover and remove the broken or restrictive feathers. It is amazing how they recognize which feathers limit their ability to fly. They identify it and with twists and turns pull it to remove it skillfully. Then they discard it.

Observing this caused me to reflect on how actively I work at removing the things in my life that hinder my spiritual growth. Sometimes prayer is not enough, especially when it becomes too routine or according to my plan. I must put aside time to go deeper into the areas where I resist and am flawed, to listen to that small, still mysterious voice within. The broken feathers of my spiritual practice are not always easy to find. Like a plant on rocky soil, I must find my way to the source of life. God’s desire is for me to grow in holiness. The broken feathers are often hidden under the covering of pretty feathers that I want people around me to see – my false self.

When my wife passed away from cancer in 2012, I lived in a vulnerable space emotionally and spiritually. It took quite a while for me to dig down to the painful places in my heart and soul. I had to acknowledge and face the places of denial that I used to get me past my stuck places. The “should u, would u, could u-s” that I needed to move beyond became too easy to ignore. I had to let the Spirit do his/her transforming work in me. The broken feathers – my brokenness-had to be preened, so that a new faith and a new spirit could be created within me.

I also discovered how my community could assist me in the work of preening. Their encouragement and willingness to listen to my story of woundedness was part of the Creator’s guiding light. My spiritual director and my community encouraged me to write and voice vows of poverty, chastity, and humility. They aided me in preening some of the broken places in my life.

I must still admit that I am a work in process. My spirit has opened me up to many new mystical experiences, and meditation has been part of God’s creative gift in me.

Have you ever taken the time to preen what is broken in your life?